Week 15

Today marks week 15 of our little girl's life. Sierra Marie Vardiman arrived at 1:31 am on May 29, 2012. She weighed 8lb. 12 oz. and was 21" long. The labor process went very well. We started the induction process on May 28th around 1:30 am. We started with cervidil to get things started. Around 11:30 am the doctor broke my water. We then began pitocin. We rested for a few hours and I took a nap. During my nap I went from 4 cm to 9cm dilated! That was one productive nap! Around 12:30 am on the 29th we called the Doctor to come in. He arrived just before 1am. I started pushing and our beautiful Sierra emerged. The first time I saw her was absolutely the most amazing, overwhelming feeling of relief, love, joy, and exhaustion!

We were visited by our close friends Woody, Kristene, Mina and Maurizio at the hospital. We were discharged on the 30th and allowed to go home with our new family member. I remember holding her as we were wheeled out of the hospital thinking, "Holy moly! What do we do now? We've worked so hard for THIS moment and here it is, happening right now." We got home and introduced Sierra to our pets. They were all very curious, but timid. Over time they decided that Sierra could stay in our pack. Momo and Papa (Beth's mom and step-dad) arrived late on May 31st (Beth was VERY happy to see Momo).

Shortly after Momo and Papa left, Gran and PawPaw arrived (Tony's mom Pam and step-dad Jim)along with Uncle Rob! It was a busy day!

Our wonderful friend Kristene took a few pictures of Sierra when she was a little over 4 weeks old.

The dust settled and we started getting into a groove with our little family. Beth started going to a lactation group meeting at the hospital where we delivered Sierra. She and Sierra go every week. They have made friends with a few mommies and their babies. They enjoy meeting new mommies and babies every week and supporting the mommies who are having difficulties. At our first visit to the lactation group Sierra weighed 9lbs. 5oz. At our most recent visit she weighed 12lbs. 6.5oz.! We are fortunate enough to have another friend that enjoys photography as well! Our friend Sue took these photos when Sierra was almost 2 months old.

Sierra giggled for the first time on August 2nd! Sierra got her first round of vaccinations on August 6th. It was a rough afternoon for Beth. Sierra was fine after a short nap=) Meeting the Barbers! Autumn, Anne, Anson and Ayla escaped Phoenix for a weekend in the cool, pleasant weather of San Diego=)

Gran arrived on August 15th! We moved on August 16th to a 3 bedroom townhouse in Rolling Hills Ranch in Chula Vista. Tony started a new job on August 20th with Websense. He is now a manager of Technical Support. The East Coast Fosters made a trip to San Diego in August. Zack and Olivia were very excited to meet their youngest cousin!

Sierra and Beth recently traveled to visit Beth's mom and Grandma. While there, Sierra got to meet many people! Sierra's first plane ride!

Sierra's first train ride!

Sierra and Momo

Meeting Great Grandma Margaret

Meeting the Petersons

Meeting Uncle Matt and Dean

Visiting Great Grandma Margaret again

Meeting Cousin Hanna

Meeting Cousin Jack

Meeting Great Aunt Mitzae

Meeting Grandpa Tom

Four generations!

Meeting Laura, Bryn and Johanna

Meeting Great Aunt Amy

Meeting Chris and Allison

We had a wonderful trip! Sierra was a wonderful traveler! Sierra turned from her tummy to her back all by herself on 9/9! It's been a VERY busy summer! Becoming a mom has been the most amazing experience I could have imagined, and more! Even on days that don't go so well, the baby is cranky, I'm cranky and everything I pick up, I drop twice, when that little smile spreads across her face, my heart melts and everything doesn't seem so serious any more. I'm blessed beyond measure that my child is healthy, growing well, and we have a safe, happy place to call home. I look forward to sharing my experiences with other moms with the lactation group. I have really found a niche where I feel fulfilled, empowered and valuable outside of my home. It seems strange to put that out into the ethers. After working from home for 2 years, and now my main job revolves around a small person, it is nice to be valued for other talents. I'm looking forward to establishing a routine that we can follow on a regular basis (I'm sure not every day) while we settle in to our new home, new job for Tony, new baby and new adventures!

Week 40

Today marks the beginning of week 40. It's been a very long 40 weeks, and yet it's flown by so quickly. We are currently playing the "waiting" game. Upon my last exam, I was 1 1/2 cm dilated. The dr did what is called a membranes sweep. I'll spare the details. Today I passed a milestone that also marks the impending labor. Again, I will spare the details. It's not very pretty. My body is doing what it's supposed to when preparing for the upcoming events. Our dr scheduled me for an induction at 8pm tonight. It's currently 9:25pm. I was told when I called that they would call me back in a couple of hours. Yeah, that hasn't happened. So, we're impatiently waiting a call to have us come in. BG is doing well. She measured 41 weeks tall at week 38, so I'm anticipating that she'll be at least 21" long. Which is rather tall=) She was also measuring close to 8lbs at week 38. She's supposed to gain 1 oz per day. That was almost 2 weeks ago, so she could be getting very close to 9lbs by now. We'll find out sooner than later I suppose. I'm anxious to get this started. It's been a very long road. I'm ready to exit this part of the trip and begin a new one. Today is also our 5th marriage anniversary. I say marriage because we also have a wedding anniversary. We were married in May under a tree in a park in the rain. Our wedding was in a church with all of our friends and family around, in November. It's crazy to think that exactly 5 years to the day, we stopped trying to prevent getting pregnant, and we're waiting to be induced. How fun! I'm excited to meet this new addition. She is very loved and we have had many and I do mean MANY friends and family calling, texting, emailing, and messaging about where this baby is and why she has not come out yet. If there were news, I'd be sure to let everyone know. I promise=) That's where we are at this point. I'm confident that my next post will be a gushing gooey mess of how amazing and beautiful my daughter is and how blessed we are to have her. Until then, be well.

Today is day 4 of week 34! It's hard to believe that our little girl will be making her entrance is less than 6 weeks! We have her baby room ready for her to come at any time. It's been fun putting things away, collecting things that she'll need, and discussing what else we will need. One thing that we were told we MUST have is a wipe warmer. Now, I'm all about babies should be comfortable, etc. But a wipe warmer? Really? It took a little bit of discussion for me to be more open to the idea. Tony wants BG to be as comfortable as possible. We had a very nice baby shower a few weeks ago. I was so happy that Angela could be here to share it with us! It was great to have her here and to get to spend some time with her. Kristene, Woody, Theresa and Erol did a lot of work to make our shower special. It was wonderful! Complete with my favorite Filipino foods and people=)

Tony and I have finally settled on the name for our baby. It's a very good name. The first name is very feminine, stable, easy to spell, and easy to pronounce. The middle name is the same as my Grandma Margaret. We agree that our next daughter's middle name will be Tony's grandma's middle name.

Week 35

Tony and I went to our 35 week appointment today. We have officially moved from 2-week appointments to weekly appointments! The end is near and it's coming faster and faster every day! BG is moving around more and more every day. She seems to like it a lot when I eat or drink something cold. She really likes apple juice. Smart girl. BG and I get to go to Non Stress Tests now. We have them twice a week, one on Thursday and one Monday through the rest of the pregnancy. Plus our weekly doctor visits. That's 3 appointments a week! Whew! As long as she gets here healthy and strong, I'm happy to go where ever I need to go to ensure her safety. Tony and I have been talking to her. Addressing her by her name, singing, and of course pushing on the belly to make her move. She is not a "perform on command" kind of girl. LOL. While we're saying good night, Tony and I talk to the baby and to each other before going to sleep. Last night Tony was singing the baby some song about a woman from El Paso. I doubt the baby heard much because I was laughing so hard while he was singing. Crazy Texan=) He made up for it by singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Which she LOVED! She moved around and kicked quite a bit while he was singing. BG can tell when Tony comes home from work. Something about the sound of his voice and the reaction from the dogs when he walks through the door make her do a little dance. This journey has been so miraculous, amazing and truly a blessing. In a few short months, I will celebrate my 11 year anniversary of my cyst removal surgery. I can not believe it's been that long. Nor can I believe that the wonderful blessing of birthing my own child will be a reality in 5 short weeks. July 31, 2001 will always be a reminder of how scary life can be. And whenever BG's birthday is, will always be a reminder of how truly amazing my body is, what it has overcome, and what it is capable of creating. I am truly grateful for the miracle that is coming and so excited to meet our daughter!

3.17.12

Today marks the last day of week 29. It's also St. Patrick's Day! We celebrated Tony's Irish heritage by getting a 4D ultrasound of our little bundle! This is one of the pictures taken of her today.
We've been debating who she looks more like. I must say that I think she has a lot of Tony's facial features. Her nose and chin are pure Vardiman=) And her hairline looks more like his than mine. I'm sure I'll see myself and Tony in her at different times. Babies have a tendency of looking like both parents periodically. I think she's beautiful. I can NOT wait to hold her in my arms and watch her face change while she sleeps; Watch her taking in all of the sights she can see; and hear her 'secret baby lanugage' as our friend Elliott calls the little grunting and squeaking noises that babies make. It's hard to believe that she's mine. I mean of course I feel her moving around and bouncing on my bladder. The idea that I get to keep her is a wild one right now. This little (hopefully) person will come out of me. This being that Tony and I have carefully planned for, prayed for, and hoped for will be here in (again, hopefully) the next 10 or so weeks. She comes home to our apartment, entrusted to our judgement and lack of skill. Whoa.

I will be forever known as mom from the first breath she takes. I CAN wait for the diaper blow-outs, sleepless nights and vomit. I know that's part of the territory. It's not like I haven't dealt with those before. But it was someone else's baby. That baby could go home. This one, will be at home at my house. A friend of mine said she never wanted children because 'they're always around'. Uh, yep. That's what happens. This person^ has been 'around' 24-7 for the last 7 months and she isn't going anywhere any time soon. She'll just be WAY more fun when she's out. I'm kind of torn about the whole birthing process. I know it's going to happen. I know it will hurt. I know she can't go back in once she comes out. But there is part of me that would be okay if she stayed this close and safe forever. That's not how this whole becoming a parent thing works.
Everyday after she comes out is a day I get to let go of her a little bit more. I'm doing my best to wrap my head around this idea. Life is about letting go of what was and making room for what is to come.

March 2012

Today marks day 2 of week 28 on our journey of becoming parents.
Saturday was the first day I've had trouble tying my shoes. I had to have Tony help me. I suppose the good thing is that now I get to go shopping for shoes I don't need to tie.
I have been having hormone surges like crazy. I'm fine one minute, Tony, or actually, anyone, says something and I'm over the edge! Really hormones? This is what we're doing now? Thankfully my wonderful husband has recognized what is happening and is doing his best to not take it personally. I know it's been tough on him.
I'm now officially 'grounded' in that I won't be traveling very far from home. We are planning to go on a BabyMoon up the coast in the next few weeks. We won't go much further than San Francisco. Tony is really enjoying looking through ideas of where we could go, see and do!
I had thought about taking the train up the coast. But, if something were to happen, it may be really inconvenient to get home by train in labor, should that occur.
I'm getting bored at this point. My hands are swelling, my ankles are swelling, and the baby is growing, which of course is the important part! She's moving around a lot more every week. It's so fun. I'm going to miss her little movements when she's out.
We don't have a name yet. We've been playing around with a few just as a joke, ie. Coco Puffs Vardiman, but nothing has stuck for us yet. We have had quite a few folks weighing in on what BG's name should be. My brother (Rob) and his brother-in-law (Mikkel)have named BG, Roberta Mikayla. Hilarious guys. Thanks. Mikayla, ok, Roberta? Really? Haha! Of course all the women I know named Mary think her name should be Mary. My aunt Mitzae, thinks I should name her Mitzae. Um, no.
For my birthday present I want to get a 3D ultrasound done. Turns out, they're now 4D. Which is very cool, and they're under $200! Hooray! That was a great find! I'm very excited to see the features of our little one more clearly than on our routine ultrasounds! We have seen her face, briefly, once. Typically she has her hands in front of her face. I'm hoping she will turn around for her big picture day. She's facing inward right now. Which is fun for me because I can feel her hands, feet and legs moving around, but not so much fun for dad. It's tough for him to feel her move through her back, and the placenta, and my fluff=)
We're hoping when we see her on the 4D ultrasound we'll have a better idea of what her name should be. I'm pretty stuck that she should LOOK like her name. I don't want to have just one name and fall in love with it and when she comes out, she totally looks like a completely different name. Yes, it's weird. I know. But that's the way I see it.
I think we have the majority of the 'equipment' we need for her arrival. I'm still a LITTLE concerned about having enough clothing for her. I'm hoping that my friends who have volunteered to send us clothes will follow through. I'm having a tough time allowing them to do things at their own pace. I'm a first time mama folks. I'm kinda wanting to have everything here, in my possession, ready to go. Which begs the question, when should I be ready?
I've been having this internal debate with myself. Is it possible to wash things too early? What if I wash new clothes that are too small for her when she comes out? That would be a waste of washing right? I'm thinking that she'll be a big baby (9lbs +). So, if I plan on that, what if she comes out at 7lb.? How far ahead should I have my bag packed? I'm only 28 weeks. Theoretically I have at LEAST 7 more weeks before her arrival is eminent. Ah the joy of having very little to do and much to over-think. LOL. I'm doing my best to relax and just leave it all alone. But it's VERY difficult. We have baby stuff all over our apartment. Mostly because it's a small apartment. Our office/guest room is going to be the baby's room. We have her pack 'n play set up because it's holding stuff for her right now. Once she arrives we'll need room for diapers and wipes and all of the other stuff that goes along with baby needs.
I have been doing my best to remind myself that women in 3rd world countries have babies every day without all of the 'stuff' that I think I need. All she will need is me, some clean diapers, clean clothes, a car seat, a couple of blankets and somewhere safe to sleep. No big deal.
Way easier said than done for me!
Work is VERY slow right now. I'm hoping that dad's efforts pay off for him soon and that I will have more to do. In the mean time I've contacted a guy about doing some data entry for him from home. We'll see how that works out.
I've passed my second glucose tolerance test! Hooray! We have our last 4 week appointment on March 28th! Hooray!!! Then we go to appointments every 2 weeks! Ahhh! It's happening, she's coming and I can NOT wait to hold her little hands and toes and kiss her and know that she is mine forever. Yes, I'm ooey gooey in love with her already =D